Naaaaaahhhhh...
This is what I'm learning:
1. To the best of your ability, keep doing all of the things that fill you up. If hiking, writing, painting, and napping (or anything else) help you to experience well-being when life is fairly easy, those things will be even more important when you are under extra stress. It doesn't always seem like there is the time or energy for these things. Too bad. Just do it. It's not optional; it's necessity.
2. You can't make it all better, so quit trying to carry the load.
3. Digging in the dirt changes brain chemistry. Spend time in the garden.
Cute little baby pea plants!
4. Less than three months after your spouse gets an MCL diagnosis (or any other heavy-duty diagnosis) is probably not the best time to try to take yourself off of hormones. But, go for it. But don't come cryin' to me when your body thinks that you hate it and you find yourself breaking down just thinking of old people.
5. If someone asks you about how your spouse is doing, then proceeds to say what they think about said spouse's choices, and THEN tells you scary stories about people who have or had cancer... RUN! Or, you can announce early on: "I support Michael in living his life the way he sees fit (doesn't everyone want and deserve that?), and I don't care to have a conversation about his diagnosis or treatment plan, thank you very much."
And if you are in the process of going off of your hormones when above situation occurs, so your emotions plummet even more so than they would normally, just go sit in the corner and talk to yourself. No one will even consider asking you about Michael's treatment.
6. Surround yourself with people who love you and support you in traversing this deep, rocky jungle with courage and in wonder.
7. Remember the wonderful things that others do - the listening, caring, food-bringing, card-sending - and do those things for others.
8. Remember that all of life is precious. Be here now. And do it your way.
7 comments:
Oh dear! You need your hair washed sooner than I can get there! Makes me want to pack up the car, though. The hormone thing doesn't sound pleasant at all, but the cute pea plant made me smile. On the lighter side, if you go to a corner and talk to yourself to be left alone, you'll likely find others who got there before you and they may not even be in the process of going off hormones. . . This world can be brutal on us sometimes, can't it.
I can see it now: a corner full of talking people, none of them talking to each other. May be the best therapy of all. It's hard to always act like we're sane! :-)
I can just feel the scalp massage as I type this. Thinking about it is almost as good as the real thing. AND if you show up at my front door, I will be happy to give you food and a place to stay in return for your hair washing!
The toughest thing for me was the realization that not everything that's broken can be fixed, and not every question has an answer.
I've always liked this quote: "I have come to the conclusion that understanding ain't all it's cracked up to be. In other words, serve now, live now, and love now. Don't wait to understand." ~Arlo Guthrie
Thomas,
Thanks for the quote. I agree.
And I also agree that not everything can be fixed and not every question has an answer, but if we sit with the "broken" and the questions, we can be changed by them.
I've seen corners like that a lifetime or three ago . . . but you don't want to know where. Once upon a time, I sat down in one of those corners just to be supportive of a woman who was there. She had no idea I was there.
As for showing up at your front door, the ROcky Mountain high would do me some good.
I'd leave you with an inspirational quote if I thought I had any inspiration to give. Today I just need a nap.
Can I get an "amen"?! A.M.E.N. SISTAH!!!
Amen and Hallelujah!
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