It's a Family Affair

Michael's parents left yesterday.

We had fun times...

...getting caught by a giant miner...

... and checking out a few restaurants in town (This is outside of one of my favorites, the Mercury Cafe).


We also shared many bathroom jokes - only not the kind you're thinking.  More like real life, "How many broken parts can a new toilet come with?" and "How many trips to the hardware store does it take before a new toilet can be installed and working?"

The whole installation from purchase to finish... Oh, yeah, it's still not finished.  We're still waiting on a replacement tank for the new one that had a leaky defect.   Well, the partial installation from purchase to our present funky toilet, with the too-small temporary tank, was like traveling with a wild jungle safari.  We never knew what would surprise us at the next turn.

And we were even paying a professional to do the job! 

But what are families for if they can't spend a day and a half talking potty talk together.

Thank you for coming, H & W!  We love you, and it was good to have you here!

The Further Adventures Of...

... some of the luckiest people on the planet.

We weren't in the theater in Aurora when violence and its carnage hit.  We didn't have a loved one there, but we still feel so much compassion for the wounded, the friends and families of those killed and injured, and the shooter and his family. Lots of pain and confusion behind that act.

We have been through other challenging times during the past few weeks.  Michael had a strong reaction to one of the regimens that he was undergoing.  It wasn't pretty.  And it forced us to grow in ways we didn't know were waiting for us.  In the end it was a net plus, but boy was it a challenge for a while.

This morning we got the results of Michael's recent blood work and CT scan.

Drum roll please.

Blood results:  Normal
CT scan:  Lymph nodes that were previously reviewed are now slightly smaller in size.  No areas of swelling or enlargement seen.

We could draw the conclusion that the things Michael has been doing* have not only kept the MCL from growing and spreading, but they have also been effective in slightly reducing the MCL.  I like that idea, and it may be 100% true, but we can't completely know what the cancer cells are up to.

Because Michael has stopped the regimen that knocked him on his physical and spiritual butt, he has possibly lost the "alternative" treatment that affected the MCL the most.

I don't know what comes next.  I am not in charge here.  Sometimes I'm even okay with that.



*If you or a friend of yours has cancer and you want information about the various protocols Michael has been following, you can contact me at http://www.carolforpeace.com/contact.html

Vast and Amazing

"Vast and amazing," an illustration by London-based artist Freya

7-14-2012

Dear Mikey,

Today at the healing circle where I and six others did what we could to bring healing to your body and soul, I realized how beautifully you are allowing yourself to receive.  That kind of stuff is a challenge for me.  I have never liked being the center of attention.  I don't think you have, either, but you are now allowing it, and it is a privilege to be here to witness your grace and your ability to be vulnerable.

You mentioned that you don't like that I continue to be in second place, that all the attention and energy goes to you.  First, I don't think that's true. I am surrounded by love.  Secondly, I want to thank you for allowing me to take this journey with you.  I am happy at the way that we are both learning and growing.  You may argue with me about this, but you are my teacher.

This isn't easy for either of us, but wherever this takes us, we're up for it.  And we're not alone.


Haola!

I love you,

Sweet Pea

And Many Times Looking Cross-eyed

Michael J. Fox, in his book, Always Looking Up, writes this regarding Parkinson's Disease:  "You suffer the blow, but capitalize on the opportunity left upon its wake."

For me, the opportunities "left upon the wake" of Michael's diagnosis are numerous and profound.


And still, I often have no clue about any of this.


A short list of the opportunities I have noticed:

• The flexibility to be able to fix one kind of food for a period of time, only to have to give it away or eat it all myself because NOW this kind of food is what is required.  Then, in a couple of days (if we're lucky) to throw that food out, because it isn't working so well. (An opportunity to open a soup kitchen where I can serve the food that, yesterday, we thought was ours?)

Some days, garden carrots with penises are okay.  Some days, they're not. 
(I can understand that.)  

• To face in real time - not just as a hypothetical idea - that there are few things that we truly "know" in life.  (Definitely NOT a good time to consider a career as a politician.)

• Realizing that it's not just Michael who needs a support team.  I do, too.  (An opportunity to let go of my hermit-like ways.  Damn it.)

I don't even know how to write about many of the changes that MCL is leaving in its wake.  MCL feels like a roto-rooter, cleaning out all of the methods I've historically used to function in the world.  Now, it's about just placing one foot in front of the other. It doesn't feel like there is always ground to receive that step, but there seems to be something kind and compassionate, huge and spacious that let's me know it's okay to let go into this free fall.